I got divorced like 5 months ago after a 9 years with this girl who cheated on me, emotionally abused me, etc etc
I’ve been suicidal since the split, getting worse by the day still, and literally nobody ever asked if I was OK, aside from my mom. Even when I begged close friends for support they basically just ghosted me. My ex is surrounded by support, from the same people who I thought were my best friends.
Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with? The attitude towards me is just “get over it”. I’ve lost almost everyone I’m close to because of this and I’m starting to think there might actually be one viable option of getting over it because existing is simply torture. All of 2025 felt like just a bad dream but it’s unfortunately real.
Edit: Yes I have a counselor - a very good one I see weekly.
First : sorry you are going through this.
Second : yes most guys won’t get the support they need. It sucks.
Third : yes you have shitty people around you
The people who you thought were your friends aren’t. Forget about them. Forget they exist. They aren’t worth your time.
Figure out what you like to do and join a club or group and move forward. Not just get over it. In that new group look for support there. Look for better friends there.
Thanks.
Yeah I’d be there for my bros if they went through this.
Yea, I have been there for several friends that went through this. If it really is how you say then those people kind of suck atm. Maybe ask one why before you write them off though. Better to know for sure vs remaining angry with people.
OP mentioned in another comment he went alt-right for a bit and came back.
I wouldn’t be there if a friend went off the deep end. I would however call him out for his views and tell him to fuck off vs just ghosting.
Ahh well if that’s the other shoe dropping. I’m always skeptical of folks that never bring up their flaws in the history. OP if that’s true you should own it, and apologize for those beliefs. It’s possible these people were done with you before the divorce.
He commented below with it. Might wanna reply there.
Good on you. In my experience no matter how much you’re there for bros, as soon as shit hits the fan for you it’s “sorry, I’m not really good with that stuff lol” and then they just kind of disappear until you’re magically better.
It’s also not easy to just write people off from your life for being shitty when you’re down and then be left with nobody. People act like “find better friends” is easy. Finding friends at all is hard for most people.
The quality of your life is the sum of the quality of the five people with whom you spend the most time.
To shreds, you say?
Do my dogs count?
I’d like to strongly challenge your third point. As others have said, there are many reasons people don’t provide emotional support besides “they’re not your friends.” They might not know how to be supportive, they might be afraid of saying the wrong things and causing more hurt, they might have an avoidant attachment style with a deep fear of having others depend on them. We all have moments when we fail to show up for people we care about, and if we respond by ending those relationships, we’ll be left without any at all.
I’m not saying it’s wrong for OP to end those friendships, and I think making new friends is usually a good move. I am saying that - when both parties are willing - being able to name and repair those hurts is part of having healthy relationships.
deleted by creator
I wouldn’t say his friends are just shitty people. You really have to work with bros to foster a relationship where talking about emotions is acceptable. As men, we are really just ill equipped because of broad ideas about masculinity and its hard cycle to break.
Im willing to bet, if you surveyed his friends, there might be some who are heart broken they didnt know they should have stepped up.
Fair enough