There is this girl I like, she knows I would like to go on a date with her someday. She isn’t sure what she wants at the moment. That’s all fine but I genuinely begin to develop feelings for her. And I just don’t really care all that much for a friendship anymore. It screws with my psyche, it’s like only being allowed to smell a fine wine instead of drinking it. (bad analogy, but fuck it)
I’ve had enough. I just want to tell her I don’t like seeing her on just a friendship level any more. And if she doesn’t see me as a romantic partner, which is totally A-okay fine with me, but it will mean I’m walking away from this friendship all together. At the same time I don’t want to force her to make a decision (she sometimes has trouble saying no). And here’s the real son of a gun, she is highly suicidal and takes endings of friendship badly (as she herself has said).
So does anyone have any advice to spare here? Yes, I’m a terrible person so think of it for her sake. Because the friendship is going to end, one way or the other.
If she’s actively suicidal then she is no place to start a new relationship and I do not think you should be persuing it. Suicidal depression is nothing to fuck with. I hope you understand the magnitude of that. Also you said she has trouble saying no. You really don’t want to end up dating her just because she’s scared to say no. That’s completely fucked up at so many levels.
This girl has to take care of herself and work through her issues. You can support her as a friend, but if it causes you distress then you need to back off and let her utilize her other support systems. If she is telling you she doesn’t know what she wants, then I would listen to her and respect that. You make the choice - can you be her friend only and support her while not feeling bad yourself? If yes, support her. If not, move on. My personal opinion is you should move on and maybe approach her in the future once she’s healthy, if the timing is right. Or just move on and you’ll find someone else.