anxiety meds, not beat myself up for feeling dead inside/the same level of emotions everyone else has (e.g. not crying when relatives die irl but crying at some movies), adhd meds instead of trying to rawdog curbing my procrastination with mindfulness and pomodoros and beating myself up when it doesn’t work; know what stimming is/how to explain the odd noises to my neighbors in case they ever hear me talking to myself aloud, also how to explain why I walk on my toes. know what alexithmyia is and that your body can have panic attacks while thinking your mind is 100% calm, thus making you think you’re having a heart attack.
That’s a word vomit list of things; meds are the only things you need the diagnosis for/I don’t blame people for not pursuing an official diagnosis. But again I wish I knew sooner/I had seen more explicit depictions of autism in media other than movies (which I watch a lot of) like Rain Man or Mercury Rising.
Being diagnosed with autism at 40 didn’t help, wish I knew I had it sooner.
I was considering going in for a diagnosis, but this happened: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/rfk-jr-autism-study-medical-records/
It has been walked back, but the fact that they tried is enough of a warning for me.
https://autisticadvocacy.org/2025/04/hhs-walks-back-autism-registry-plans/
Yeah I literally got my diagnosis (without even really seeking one out) a week or so before RFK announced his database.
Oh well, fuck him. I’m not gonna let that asshole rob me of my mental health journey.
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What would you do differently? So I can benefit from your hindsight.
anxiety meds, not beat myself up for feeling dead inside/the same level of emotions everyone else has (e.g. not crying when relatives die irl but crying at some movies), adhd meds instead of trying to rawdog curbing my procrastination with mindfulness and pomodoros and beating myself up when it doesn’t work; know what stimming is/how to explain the odd noises to my neighbors in case they ever hear me talking to myself aloud, also how to explain why I walk on my toes. know what alexithmyia is and that your body can have panic attacks while thinking your mind is 100% calm, thus making you think you’re having a heart attack.
That’s a word vomit list of things; meds are the only things you need the diagnosis for/I don’t blame people for not pursuing an official diagnosis. But again I wish I knew sooner/I had seen more explicit depictions of autism in media other than movies (which I watch a lot of) like Rain Man or Mercury Rising.