Edit: Please know that I am reading and appreciating every one of your responses. Even if I do not reply to you, I appreciate your time and want the best for you all. Thank you, guys.

I’ve always been the “crazy one” in any given scenario. I have been this way my whole life. Even as a child I was crazy. I would get upset and cry loudly for hours but my siblings would not. I caused problems at home for my family, especially for my mom who didn’t know what to do with me. I did this as an older child, not normal toddler tantrum age. I was old enough to “know better”. I did it my whole childhood.

For the most part in life, I have been able to be a productive member of society. The issues I would cause were limited to my home life and I mostly kept to myself. I sometimes cause issues by being a crazy person to my online friends, but at least that never spilled over into the “real world”.

But now in my 30s I am causing such issues at work. I asked for some psych meds to be prescribed to me in March and have been taking them ever since. Doesn’t seem to do anything.

I seem to get more frequent and strong negative emotions than the general population. I have difficulty controlling these, especially when I feel like someone is being mean or unfair to me or others. I think I am genetically predisposed to be this way, as my dad was a crazy person when I was growing up (but he has always been nice to me…he was only abusive to my mom). He had “episodes” too the same way I do, except his were malicious to others in nature. My older brother also has claimed to have bipolar disorder which supposedly has a genetic component.

I have spoken to mental health professionals and have been assessed for various things. I do not have bipolar disorder, autism, or OCD per mental health professionals. I tried to bring up keywords like “emotional dysregulation” to them. There seems to be no good explanation for why I am insane. I have wondered if maybe I have borderline personality disorder but have not inquired to be assessed for that one. I do not seem to exhibit the “risk taking” behaviors that are core to borderline personality disorder though.

I get frustrated that I am always the only one who is crazy and no one else is like me.

But I know there are other crazy people out there. Please, tell me your stories. How do you deal with life? How do you deal with always being different than others and feeling negative things more strongly? How do you handle things? How do you handle being and feeling alone in the way that you are? How do you handle the emotional frustration?

If this is inappropriate for here, I apologize. I just want to hear how others have managed to handle life despite this isolating “disability”. I want to hear your stories. I want to gain wisdom from all of you. Thank you.

  • blargh513@sh.itjust.works
    5·
    2 days ago

    I think this is far more important than people realize. Your gut is your 2nd brain.
    This was posted a few days ago: https://undark.org/2025/06/24/mental-illness-ketogenic-diet/

    Short version is that diet controls are able to provide very large improvements for schizophrenia. That is huge.

    Also, being able to regulate emotions is a big deal, but most people have no idea how to even begin. Mr Rogers talked about it a lot. He was wise. I found a LOT of insight from the book Why Buddhism Is True by Robert Wright. It talks about the evolutionary aspects of emotions as well as some cognitive theory like modular theory of mind: https://exploringkodawari.blog/modular-theory-of-mind/

    There is a lot that most adults just do not know about how they think and feel. They are not at all aware of their emotional states and the cause and effect relationship between external inputs and the emotions that result. To me, this sort of information should be taught to children and all the way through their schooling. I think we would have a lot fewer people who are a tangled up mess as adults.

    I have found that my own life has improved greatly by seeking answers to these questions. You’re never really in control of your emotions, but once you are aware of them, they won’t control you anymore.