I like to start a major fist-fight with the first student that dares to question my god-like authority. I deadpan an old-timey “put-up-your-dukes-sonny” kind of fisticuff… they buy it 100% of the time. I like to let the student get a few in before I absolutely make mincemeat out of them.

After that, the students seem to really respect me. I have to maintain that bitter grudge with that one student the rest of the semester, though. At no point do I want them to think I’ve gone soft.