Of course they’re going to say that. But as an extraterrestrial myself, I can tell you that I’m not going to be flying my saucer around here much longer, not with the air full of Boeing parts … doors and tires and whatnot. Saucer insurance rates are out of this world.

“AARO has found no evidence that any U.S. government investigation, academic-sponsored research, or official review panel has confirmed that any sighting of a UAP represented extraterrestrial technology,” Pentagon Press Secretary Maj. Gen. Pat Ryder said in a statement Friday.

“To date, AARO has found no verifiable evidence for claims that the U.S. government and private companies have access to or have been reverse-engineering extraterrestrial technology,” Ryder said in the statement.