A few years back my sister passed away, I’m now the only child my parents have left. They live a few hours away and have for as long as I have been with my partner (7 years).
My parents are planning on moving to the place we now live to be closer to me. This has my partner worried that they will be over often or I will be over at their house more often. Her parents are very far away so can only visit once a year.
My parents are not the kind of people to show up uninvited to anyone’s house. They likely will come over once a month for dinner and I will probably go over by myself once a week.
We are both pretty private people so not having anyone over is just how we are and this potential change of more visits has her concerned that our privacy will be gone.
I am also fine with them not coming over often, I like it being just me and her but I do want my parents close when they have medical emergencies.
How do I approach this as currently she is a bit annoyed but taking a more “see how this pans out” attitude?
I don’t exactly want to jump the gun and talk to my parents ahead of time to make sure they don’t come over often because I don’t think they will and it might sour their relationship to her if they think she doesn’t want them over ever, even if I also don’t want them over often.
Talk with your partner and tell them you hear their concerns and they are valid. However, they need to understand that you have a need to be closer to your family or your family have a need to be closer to you. But that you will work with everyone to establish boundaries and you will make sure that they are respected so that everyone is happy.
Have this talk with your family as well and let them know that while you are happy to be closer, that you still need to have boundaries and that you hope they understand they need to respect them. When it happens it’s nothing personal that you just need your space.
If you communicate your needs like this I think it’ll work out for everyone