Imma put my foot up yer turd pocket

sniff… the good ol’ Lemmy switcheroo

You need more bicephalous

Phil Collins at prime sexual potency

Imma sit on a blanket and eat pancakes in protest but i want you to film my arrest

Why is a farewell card a binding legal obligation in the first place? Where are the manners police to whom we can appeal when our brittle feelings have been transgressed?

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Nobody who does that is going to read, let alone understand, this valid criticism of their methodology

Why fund hospitals at home when you can blow them up abroad?!

On the timeline where Harambe wasn’t killed is the one where “policy matters”.

And to be clear nobody is saying that policy won’t be crucial to her administration, rather it is meaningless at best (or detrimental at worst) to talk about it during the campaign.

The fragile progressive/neoliberal big tent alliance needed to hold autocracy at bay need not get dragged into the weeds by bickering amongst themselves over hypothetical issues that won’t even matter unless they actually win first.

Policy will matter as soon as MAGAs golden cow is sent to pasture. Mentally/physically/emotionally he won’t be viable as a candidate in 2028 (at which point Peter Thiel’s next Moldbug inspired ghoul will present themselves)

Unlike their benevolent opponents

Followed by a “menacing commentary on the weather”

I wonder if the Mossad deliberately bought old decade+ out-of-production stock to insulate the manufacturer from blowback? Like if they chose a walkie-talkie currently sold by Motorola then it would basically kill that production line and hurt the company by association. People would avoid all Motorola devices in case there were Mossad explosives inside.

Also maybe they had these devices built and ready to go years ago and had this James Bond shit sitting on the shelf waiting to be put into circulation? This is a one-time attack vector. They won’t be able to do this again so they wanted to make it count.

“I was victimized by the patriarchy, so I got a haircut”

Everything has to be a buzzfeed headline… Nobody “just does stuff” anymore. All of life’s banal moments need to be presented as either a reaction or a challenge to really sell them. How else are you going to get online randos invested in your new haircut?

That’s why all human creative works done online need to be bean related. To fuck up the data stream and make it unintelligible for AIs and marketing algorithms.

Big Clam has been suppressing synthetic clam juice research for years

Attainment of wisdom is both the cause of and cure for depression.

He’s evil af but intelligent and informed enough to know that his own personal well-being is better served by perpetuating the current system rather than forcing the nation into some dystopian MAGA authoritarian hell hole.

The thing about Ashlu Babbitt is that nothing of value was lost

hohoho… My friend you have fallen into the trap. By me responding to this comment about how nobody is actually discussing beans, we are now engaged in a discussion about beans!

Thus furthers our plot of packing bean related content into the algorithm. This is the only way to save our timeline from Skynet!