And probably better for the environment, unless it was full of fuel already

• Use x-ray vision to microwave a hot pocket

• Fly to work to avoid traffic

• Use super strength to pull lawnmower start cord since its always such a pain to start

It’s for people who are sadists toward batteries

Weed eater

Fight Club

All Biden had to do was condemn Israel and quit arming them, and all she had to do was just say that

Computer scientist 🫩

Damnit, you’re right

It’s the maga hat

Imagine being the person whose job it is to clean this thing afterward. “Capitalist innovation” my ass.

You could record it and set it as your voicemail message, and just tell your contacts that it’s legit.

The Alzheimer’s took the consent circuit

Edd

Shake would be ok, but he’d laser eye the Russians and that would be bad since it would lead to ww3. Meatwad is the best answer.

That would be a weird empire, though, right? Like your borders change minute-by-minute, right now you rule over Thailand but later tonight you rule over Rwanda.

I mean, I understand what they meant in the movie, but the logistics are weird.

That’s who we have now

I do, but my partner does a lot and when they do they do so humorously. I’ve thought about starting a Tumblr just to record our conversations.

“Your network is your net worth” ain’t that the truth, I have no network

.world is a joke instance. Deeply unserious.

Have really enjoyed it, too