Every year as the anniversary of the first human spaceflight approaches, I receive calls inquiring about the validity of Yuri Gagarin’s claim as the first human in space. The legitimate questions focus on the fact that Gagarin did not land inside his spacecraft.
Astronauts now: we need ice cream, stat! These space travels are very uncomfortable.
Cosmonauts then: I will jump through the atmosphere with this glorified handkerchief to slow me down
(Me in my armchair, also now: all these guys are such losers. I could do all that any day. But not today, maybe later though)
What? I thought astronauts already had ice cream. Do you mean to tell me that all those museum gift shops would just lie like that?