Her family’s Muslim

That right there is the reason. Trust her on this one.

Yes. She knows her family better than you, trust her

Hey there, am an Australian from a Muslim family. I too have the same, yet opposite, relationship dynamic as you - though our families are both aware now.

Formally, it is considered forbidden for Muslim women to marry outside the faith; her family won’t take it lightly. Perhaps in ways you haven’t considered.

Talk to your girlfriend. Ask her what she is worried about, and she will tell you. That is the best thing you can do.

It could be for her safety that she’s keeping you a secret. There have been so called “honor killings” of women whose dads or brothers suspected that she had dated someone and had sex out of wedlock.
Even in my western and free country of The Netherlands.

Do you trust your girlfriend? Then let her decide when it’s the right time to tell her family about her, her very life might just depend on it!

Yeah here is the thing: honor killings still happen in Muslim families in the west.

Not saying her family is that extreme, but they could very well be. Even if they’re not, prepare for a lot of problems when they find out. If a Muslim girl tells you that she can’t tell her parents about you, idk trust her on her word. I know the feeling, it sucks, but that is part of the deal you made when you got serious with a Muslim girl

Perhaps a slightly less doom-and-gloomy scenario (because not all muslims hate women): in many muslim cultures it’s expected that a relationship turns into a marriage quickly. A non-muslim colleague of mine started dating a muslim girl and her family was totally supportive of the relationship, but he did have to marry her within just a couple months of dating. They were both happy to do so but they’re a fair bit older than you are. Your girlfriend might not feel ready for such a thing.

Talk to her about it, and ask if she’s worried about her family’s reaction, what she expects and why. Don’t pressure her into introducing you to the family, but clarify that you’d just like to know why. You can express you’d like to meet them of course, but just remember that her decision should be final in all this. That will help your relationship going forward, and once she is ready for it you’ll get to meet them.

If she is still financially reliant on her parents, you should abide by her wishes on the subject. You should not consider it a reflection of her relationship with you. She is doing what she needs to do to survive and thrive.

Eventually, she might choose to rely on you for financial support. But, you could be killed in a traffic accident, and she would still be dependent on their support. Even after you are supporting her financially, she still needs to do what she needs to maintain her relationship with them.

You should not consider her relationship with her parents to be a reflection on your relationship until she is capable of supporting herself, independent of both you and them.

Until then, she is being coerced, to some degree or another, and you should consider that coercion when evaluating her behavior.

it’s normal to wait for a while before presenting to parents. for muslims its an especially serious thing. that culture probably doesn’t have a lot of casual dating. regarding her family, you should be supportive in doing things however she needs you to do them. don’t be a pussy about it

She’s already part of a religion that hates her for being a woman, no need to give them even more reasons

I dated a Muslim girl. In college. We were both 22 and she still had to keep it a secret. Her dad called her every night at 8pm to make sure she did her work and was getting ready for bed. I often had to overhear that right before we fucked.

Don’t be a baby about it. If you want to be with her, be in understanding and do what it takes.

Friend of mine had the same scenario in high school. The only one who knew was the twin sister of the girlfriend. The rest of the family would never have accepted a non-muslim. It’s probably the only way to do this until she’s an adult and can tell them to fuck off.

I assume America by ‘West’ and ‘free country’? Ya’ll are teenagers and she is a minor. Until she is in an independent position and likely a legal adult I would not engage in the affairs of her legal guardians, as close as you two may be or feel.

Dude, how many stories of Muslim father’s that go fucking crazy over their daughter seeing an “infidel”, have you ignored to not understand that there is a real risk she could be under?

You’ve already asked yourself what’s the worst that can happen. Now ask her what she thinks is the worst that can happen, and what she thinks would actually happen. Do not correct her or interrupt, and only ask probing questions so that you can better understand.

I promise you that her answers are not the same as yours.

I wanted to date a Muslim girl in high school. She said she couldn’t, because her father was “very strict and wouldn’t allow it.” We remained friends.

Conservative Muslims have a very different attitude towards religion than we in the West are used to. She may be in a free country, but she is not in a free home. She is not keeping you a secret out of shame or embarrassment.

You are not stupid for feeling upset, but you need to manage that feeling. She is keeping you a secret because telling her family would ruin her life. Learn to understand that, and enjoy what you have.