Me: get high and worry about nothing.

As you watch the results remember the “red mirage” - a well known phenomenon where Republican candidates take an early lead because Republican votes get reported early. This is simply because Republicans tend to live in smaller towns and low-population areas, which finish their vote counting sooner because there are fewer ballots. Democrats tend to live in denser urban areas that take longer to count, so their votes show up later; this is known as the “blue shift”.

You can see the red mirage happening right now… 45 minutes ago Trump had 23 electoral votes and Harris 7. Now it’s Trump 95 Harris 35. This should even out as the counts from the cities start to roll in.

Trump is planning to declare victory early in the night before the blue shift occurs, so his followers can turn off the TV and go to bed happy. Then when the final count shows Harris on top they will “know” the election was stolen because in their minds they “saw” him win.

I’m watching Star Trek and keeping my phone on do not disturb

I’m refreshing the map constantly

I’m playing D&D in 30 minutes

It’s not looking good. RIP USA, we had a good run

I am just waiting it out and getting the news when it gets posted(im european tho this election sadly effects me and a lot of other people who are outside the us)

Unless either candidate OVERWHELMINGLY wins, there’s not going to be anything tonight, and probably not tomorrow. The last of the swing states won’t close polls until 8p (Mountain time, I think). Trump is almost certainly going to declare that he is the winner “by a lot”. Best case, we’ll know tomorrow morning.

So take a couple alprazolam, drink a couple shots, and black out until tomorrow.

I’m making chilli

We only get to see John King slowly get drunk on live TV once every few years.

Or, as it is the Fifth of November, watch V for Vendetta.

Let’s go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for this to all blow over

Internet porn has entered the chat

I’m about to go get a bottle of whiskey and try to get through this