Even living Jesus broke the rules. According to the fanfic gospel of John, Lazarus was dead for four days before Jesus resurrected him. It’s where the line “Jesus wept” comes from.
Realistically, the Bible is a compilation of cherry-picked stories ranging from historical fiction to high fantasy, written by dudes who weren’t alive at the time, in a language nobody speaks anymore, translated a dozen times, losing important historical and grammatical context each time, with parts added/removed/rewritten at the ruling political and religious leaders’ fancy. I want to read the version where a Bethlehem resident wanted to confirm Mary’s post-natal virginity by hand, but the pope won’t let me.
Also, the book is interpreted the way people want to interpret as an excuse to support their bad behavior. It’s veeeeeery convenient there are so many versions out there, as a result of loose translations and copying by hand by monks for several hundred years. Just pick the version you like the most and you’re free to abuse kids and be a racist homophobe transphobe piece of shit.
Even living Jesus broke the rules. According to the
fanficgospel of John, Lazarus was dead for four days before Jesus resurrected him. It’s where the line “Jesus wept” comes from.The entire bible if filled with contradicting stories, with incest, child abuse and murder. Nice book as reference for a better life 👌
Realistically, the Bible is a compilation of cherry-picked stories ranging from historical fiction to high fantasy, written by dudes who weren’t alive at the time, in a language nobody speaks anymore, translated a dozen times, losing important historical and grammatical context each time, with parts added/removed/rewritten at the ruling political and religious leaders’ fancy. I want to read the version where a Bethlehem resident wanted to confirm Mary’s post-natal virginity by hand, but the pope won’t let me.
Damn. It isn’t dope the pope said nope.
Also, the book is interpreted the way people want to interpret as an excuse to support their bad behavior. It’s veeeeeery convenient there are so many versions out there, as a result of loose translations and copying by hand by monks for several hundred years. Just pick the version you like the most and you’re free to abuse kids and be a racist homophobe transphobe piece of shit.
If any gospel is least fanfic it’s John. The Synoptics are younger
“fanfic” absolutely sent me. That’s exactly what it is. Stealing!
that’s okay, I stole it too
Zombie Jesus will surely forgive us