Collaboration. I have never worked at a single company that wanted people talking or collaborating on the work floor, or even when sharing a cubicle, let alone listen to any suggestion us peons had to offer. They keep using it as an excuse for RTO.

I had one retail manager who constantly kept using “moving forward” for everything. It was so freaking grating!

I hate that I’ve learned to censor myself around these soulless void-skulls by replacing “problem” with “challenge.” No, I don’t “solve problems”, because to acknowledge something as a problem is negativity we just don’t need here at Emperor Clothing Inc! I “tackle challenges”!

It’s so freaking goofy and they just eat it up. Everything needs some sort of business-positive spin or they lose their minds and think you’re not being a “team player.”

‘contextual knowledge’

this gem was put forward in all seriousness when the data didn’t support the claims in the report: “it’s not in the numbers, but we have a pretty good sense that this is true”

Let’s take it offline

Just the recent used-car lot trash

• the ask
• the spend
• action this
• effort the task

… fighting for hate space with the recent shit jargon

• literally
• cap
• based

… and people who can’t write English

• the above list
• the below list
• setup vs set up
• shutdown vs shut down
• start up vs startup
• pluralizing support, e-mail, deer, effort, and other ‘non-countable’ style nouns with an S. I was raised rural and I still know the error there.

… and a special fuck you to people who join words together where normally they need a space

• opensource
• incase
• aswell

… because that last part is just cheap indolence.

when they give thier non-apology apologies.

The term “let’s slow time this” was used for a while. I can only assume that was some corporate phrase.

Flywheel. Stop.

Please socialise the requirement throughout your teams

Leadership at the company I work for started saying “let’s double click that” to mean let’s go into more detail on that topic. Hate it.

Also “let’s this offline” which just means let’s have a different meeting about it, it’ll still be online because we’re all remote.

Actionable. Ugh.

Let’s circle back.

The Q3 numbers have a life of their own. Growing, shrinking, zig zagging all over the place. Pushing needles, pulling levers. And fyi, the roi is tbd. high five synergy!

Referring to people, staff as resources. Nice and dehumanizing.

There are many but I find “let’s double-click on that” particularly grating