Perfect timing on my scrolling:
spoiler
My spouse was recently asked for cash by a woman when walking down the street. We never carry cash. The next day that woman was in the news for armed robbery of a convenience store.
I am not sure what to make of that. The people asking definitely need it though. You could be preventing them from doing something desperate. But at the end of the day it’s your bit of money to do what you want.
Big homeless has infiltrated
Hold out a £20 note and set fire to it in front of them. You know, like some of our politicians did when they were in uni.
Wasn’t it a £50 note?
Ah, the good old “assert dominance by shooting yourself”. A trending tendency indeed.
I wanna encourge shoplifting, but not sure if that’s a good idea since that might get the person killed… 🤔
(Should be encouaging them to shoplift?)
I mean if you have the strength to lift a whole shop go ahead. I ain’t stoppin ya.
I have a very simple policy of pretending I’m allergic to cash. I hate carrying it anyway, so my policy in the event that I find myself saddled with some old fashioned paper money or coinage, is to give it away to the first person who asks. Whether it is a dollar or 2, or 20 or 200.
I understand this isn’t practical for everyone but it is for me and so it is my policy. I don’t care if you look like you need it, and I actually don’t even care if you do need it. If you’re sitting outside in a Chicago winter to ask for it, and I have it on me, you’re getting it.
Hey, got any spare cash?
Yes, I have 7 dollars. Hold out your hand.
pulls out a money bag complete with the dollar sign on it
See, the guy is better prepared for carrying cash than I am. Here you go
You don’t have to respond to the sign. Just walk on by.
That’s the joke
He’s clearly choosing how to respond.
People still carry change or cash in general? 🤔
There is a little known law in France that requires you to be able to pay a first class fine (about 35€) on the spot. If you cannot you’ll be arrested. As you cannot always pay with a card as not every cop has the required system, that mean you have to carry that arround in cash.
There’s the odd off license that only takes cash. My card might not work for whatever silly reason. I usually carry £1 or 2 (separately from my wallet) for the off chance of running into a beggar.
I’m also on my way to the library at the moment, where the foreign language talking class costs £2 in cash.
If you’re a parent to a small child, the power of a £1 coin can be hilarious to behold
Wait
Is this something I should know? I have a 7 year old and I’m really needing an upper hand right about now
Okay so, caveat: mine is only six and they’re the stereotypical hyperactive ADHD kid. Your mileage will likely vary.
Kids who are like him are constantly in need of something to be doing, some achievable task just within their grasp. Also, they’re quite blind when it comes to the perception of time, so any amount of time spent “bored” (which means not rocketing towards the next moment in which they can shout in triumph) feels like an eternity. He can go from the throes of bliss to collapsing on the floor within ten seconds flat.
He damn near broke my brain with this shitshow, but I’ve finally figured out the foregoing. Knowing this puts the constant struggle at least into a coherent frame of reference.
All this to say, any and all tangible, immediate rewards are what serves him in place of a functional endogenous dopamine system. He can’t just internally think “I need to get dressed for school” and begin to do it, it has to be “I’m not allowed to ____* until I get dressed”. A coin isn’t a coin, it’s a physical embodiment of the dopamine spike used by the brain to initiate a task.
Once they’re on a task, they just go until something breaks the spell. Small immediate rewards, or the promise of getting them easily can work magic.
That’s all highly subjective, biased, likely flawed etc but it’s kept me… If not sane, at least faking it enough that people don’t comment. If your kiddo has other struggles I probably haven’t said anything of use to you.
*In our case, unhappily, it is phone time, which is also highly regulated.
You might find some success with a token system. A kid earns a “token,” and when they obtain a certain amount, they can earn a bigger reward. For example, you could draw a smiley face on a dry erase board every time the kid completes a required task. Once the kid gets 10 smiley faces, they can choose a reward for it. Preferred activities (such as playing a game, taking a trip to the park, or watching an episode of their favorite show) or being able to have a favorite snack, work for a lot of kids. The best call is to make a list of simple rewards that you know your kid enjoys and offer them choices from that list once they gain enough “tokens.”
It not only serves to satisfy the need for a dopamine spike when a task is done, but it also teaches delayed gratification and decision making for the child. They learn how to work toward a greater goal through taking small actions. Giving them a choice in what they earn gives them space for some autonomy, while curating what choices are available gives you, as a parent, the ability to work within what you’re able to provide in that moment.
It sounds like you’re part-way to such a system already, which is why it came to mind. Token systems are already commonly used in schools and in children’s therapy practices, so there are resources available if you’re interested in giving it a go.
Fully aware - we’ve tried it before, but it didn’t stick. Probably implementation issues or limitations here. They do this in his school with great success, and I think part of it is that he’s so extroverted that when there are other kids also competing, he finds the process more engaging. At home it’s just him so it falls flat. Maybe if me and mom were also on the chart earning smiley faces it would hit harder. Sounds kinda fun too.
Daddy made it to ten, get ready for an episode of Loudermilk!
That sounds like a fun twist on it! I like the idea of including the parents, it shows that we’re all responsible for our own actions, as well as capable of mistakes and improvement regardless of our ages.
I totally get what you mean about him being more motivated when other kids are around. I’ve worked with kids in a number of different positions over the years. Sometimes it’s easier to handle a group of 20 than a single individual, specifically because peers influence each other.
I can’t offer much more besides my support from afar, but from what I’ve read in this thread, you’re doing a great job. Either way, raising a kid isn’t easy, but it sounds like you’ve informed yourself and are doing the best that you can. Thank you.
Ahhh ok. Yes. The reward IS something I’m dependent on (my kid was just diagnosed with ASD and ADHD [turns out one can have both]) and it works well. I just didn’t know if there was a special thing that worked with a coin.
Not really. It’s not so useful unless you can dangle it over the right thing. But at the park? Say you send them on a scavenger hunt. You want two pretty leaves, five bits of litter, and one cool rock or stick for £1.
They clean the park, you get to sit on the bench for a few minutes and relax. Now, isn’t that worth a pound?
10p for a Fredo could’ve had the same effect on me once
In the US: Yeah, just about every barbershop I’ve ever been to only accepts cash. Sometimes they accept card, but there’s an extra charge and you have to wait until they find where they put the machine. And generally the barbers themselves seem to prefer cash.
Also, food trucks and food stands? Not all of those accept cards.
Where I am small vendors like food trucks or small pop up shops generally use etransfer if they dont accept card.
People with signs aren’t gonna be judgemental that you’re poor. Having no excess money would be a step up for most homeless people.
Lol you clearly haven’t met homeless
I’ve been homeless.
Well I’ve been a home. 2 families lived inside me
What do you mean by this? Every interaction I’ve had with the homeless has been, at worst, slightly awkward. I have been lucky to not encounter any homeless people with severe mental instability, but they are pretty rare.
Sounds like you are emphasising the possible bad outcomes and making it seem like it’s the norm.
Obviously it’s not the norm, even if there are certainly some people out there that can react badly.
I can understand your pessimism, and I’m certain you were not intentionally trying to be negative or make the homeless seem somehow less able to be reasonable, but your comment did give that impression.If you are struggling to see the good I saw this video recently in defense of optimism that actually gave me a bit of a pick me up. I’d recommend if you have the time.
He is thinking of panhandlers, they sit on the side of the road with signs and often get aggressive with people. Same scam as the people with the squeegee bottle and the towel for your windshield. These people uaually aren’t homeless and are just scamming.
Yeah. That’s my experience, not everyone begging is homeless, and not all homeless beg. Some 30% of homeless people have jobs.
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